This gem comes to us from XX in NorCal.
So, I was a freshman in high school and I was on the swim team. My teammate, Lisa, wanted to take me to a swim meet in Modesto. She was a senior. My mom thought she would be a good role model and safe to go with, so she let me go. My mother had no idea that before school, Lisa and I would go for a run, then get cream soda Slurpee's and fill them with vodka before French class.
Now with my super wholesome swim team buddy (she didn't even wear make up), my mother never suspected a thing. Off we went. We never made it to the swim meet, but we met a friend of hers named Mark. We sat around by some swimming pool, drinking Kahlúa and cream, when he presented mushrooms and cocaine. I passed on the shrooms because they smelled like Poo, but decided to take my first little sniff of blow. I didn't think it worked, it might have been fake, (BTW, it was the 80's).
But I decided he was hot, and we ended up making out. He went down on me, but I stopped him right there because I didn't want him to think I was a slut. We exchanged addresses and that was it (again, it was the 80’s). Went home and told my mom how we kicked ass at the swim meet.
A couple days later, I received a letter from Mark with some artwork… who knew he was an artist! As I'm reading the letter, all twitterpated and excited in my bedroom, I came upon a drawing of him eating me out, with "memories of you!" written under it. Just at that moment my stepfather walked in and demanded to see what I had thrown under the bed.
"Let me see it" he said.
He then showed my mom. I was grounded for life, and never got to see Lisa again. And my mom called me a slut.