SAVE RACHEL!

This is Rachel.  And and for starters, she's wearing a Panda hat she bought from a bathroom attendant in Hollywood.  

P.S. Rachel sent me this pic. I have manipulated her into granting me permission to exploit her. Welcome to L.A.

Rachie Pooh is from Texas, and she says "y'all" a lot.  She's young and spazzy and gorgeous and funny and goes home for things like "Homecoming."  

It may seem like I have a lot of contempt for this strange creature, but I don't… I just don't understand her.  My office mate, who's from New Orleans, explains "it's a Southern thing…"  Like Hell it is.  I'm from Southern California, bitches, and I can tell you this is a "green" thing.  I have immediate concern for Rachel and her lady bits.  She most assuredly has head lice from the Panda, and if you know a thing or two about gravity, shit rolls down hill. 

To further break things down for y'all, this is a girl who said "yes" to an evening out with a local bartender because she thought he wanted a new friend.  This same girl came back with lunch AND a phone number from the TACO TRUCK guy.  

I know this isn't really a "ridiculous" story, per se, but I'm starting a campaign to SAVE RACHEL before she has a chance to accumulate any submission material for my blog.

Please email advice to Rachel at: KEC310@gmail.com

Or send pepper spray.

Your cooperation and attention to this matter is appreciated.