Stark silence enveloped the room after the video ended and the lights came back on. I'm sure if a pin were to drop you'd be able to hear it, but instead everyone heard me turn to my mom and say, "I know you know how to do all that stuff, but I think I'm going to need lessons." Adorable.
Fast-forward to some years later when I'm disrupting the Open House at my apartment complex with screams of pure, unmitigated ecstasy during an hour of afternoon delight. I blame the swimming pool. Sound carries on water.
But at the time, my little fifth-grade brain couldn't comprehend what had just befallen my eyes. So - and I'm being sincere right now - my parents thought a little follow-up tutorial with the aid of this text book would help.
|Buy at Amazon!|
|Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle|
|"This is the closest two people can get."|
Regardless, I think my greatest take-away was that "this is the closest two people can get." So, according to this book, I'm not a slut, I'm a deeply caring philanthropist.
Anyway, against my better judgement, I'm leaving all you parents with a parting gift: the Where Did I Come From movie. Now your kids can grow up to be just like me.