Mortifying Moments w/ The Parental Units

We've all had them - still frames of life with our parents that make us want to curl up in a little ball and die.  Whether it's them embarrassing us, or just being caught in a super awkward situation we have the misfortune of sharing with them, this shit happens.  Hell, I declared I how much I love butt sex in front of my dad.  My adult life has been a goddamn shame spiral in front of my parents:

• The aforementioned butt sex incident.
• That family trip to the movies to see Boogie Nights

Dirk Diggler's Junk

• Weddings: 
• Telling my dad I'd found a new ride home with Tim or Joe or Dan or whoever the fuck looked good on the dance floor.
• The time I passed out in the gravel parking lot with my dress above my head at the wedding of my parents best friend's daughter.  
• Getting caught with my pants down (literally) drunk fucking my ride home from the bar in his car parked in front of my house.  Their bedroom window faces the street.  Also, my bare ass hit the horn a few times. 
• The time I was laid up in the hospital for three days while I was treated for toxic shock syndrome.  Over my brother's college graduation weekend.  So the WHOLE family was in town.   They came to visit.
• Also, that was the first time I was informed by a medical professional I might have a drinking problem. 
• (This blog…)

The list could go on, ad infinitum.

The point is, I'm not the only one who who experiences these moments of character degradation, as evidenced by the following text a favorite girlfriend of mine sent me over the Holiday:

I immediately feel better about myself.  And less alone.  In fact, I think this would be a good topic to expand on.  We should make this a thing.  Send me some mortifying moments you've had with your Toads.  I'll post anonymously.

Email to: KEC310@gmail.com, or comment below.  Or Tweet me.  

Google Search History Game, or #GSHG

My best friend caught me off guard one day when she grabbed my iPhone and scrolled through my Google search history, revealing that I had recently looked up coupon codes for Adam and Eve, along with other incriminating and embarrassing subjects.

And now it's our favorite game to play. The moment I get the GSH text, I have to take an unedited screenshot of my search history and text it to her, and vice versa.

It's like being caught with your pants down. Please see Exhibit A:

I mean...

Why You Shouldn't Have Personal Packages Shipped to Work

I received the following email from the mail services department where I work after I had a package with "illicit material" shipped to me at the office. In my defense, the apartment complex I live in has a door code that thwarts FedEx and UPS deliveries more than burglars and rapists. I didn't feel like running an errand (totally defeats the purpose of delivery), so I had my new toy sent to work.

I'm an idiot.

Welcome To My Ridiculous Life

Whether you're here by design, or you just happened to stumble across me, welcome. Odds are it's not by chance and that, in fact, YOU (like me) have experienced a ridiculous life.

This site is dedicated to any and all embarrassing events, mistakes, accidents and the like that make us human and life ridiculous. I hope that, through shared experiences, we can all feel a little less alone and comforted by our commonality as opposed to our differences.

Please feel free to submit pictures, musings, anecdotes, etc. for inclusion on the blog. If you prefer to remain anonymous, I'll respect your wishes. If you would rather go commando, I'll respect you even more.

Email your submissions to: KEC310@gmail.com

Welcome to My Ridiculous Life. Remember, it's just life, people. No need to take it so seriously.