It's not just you… we all have our moments

It's not just you… we all have our moments

Monday, March 31, 2014

35 Things I'm Grateful For On My 35th Birthday

Thirty-five years ago today, I was born with bright orange hair.  Why is this significant?  Well, about eight months before I popped out, my mother proclaimed that if she had a baby with red hair, she'd flush it down the toilet.  The mere fact I'm even alive should top my list of things I'm grateful for.  Being a Ginger is dangerous business.

So as a show of gratitude on my birthday a few years back, I sent my mother a dozen roses with a card that read:  Dear Mom, thanks for not flushing me.  Love, Kris.  Needless to say, she had a lot of explaining to do when the delivery guy dropped off the arrangement.  I guess one could surmise I've been fucking with her since day one.

Anyway, here it is - a list of 35 things I'm grateful for (in VERY particular order):
  1. Being alive.
  2. That I managed to make it through my twenties without contracting any life-threatening diseases. (Seriously, you all read my blog.  This is truly a feat within itself).
  3. To that end, I'm grateful for my health.  And, might I add, that as a former smoker of thirteen years, my wrinkle situation could be so much worse than it is.
  4. So I guess I'm also grateful I have a mother who insists wrinkle creams make the greatest birthday and Christmas presents.
  5. And, while I'm at it, I'm pretty grateful for Botox, and the blissful ignorance that accompanies Science not having concluded any significant side-effects… yet.
  6. My parents - although they didn't make the Top 5, their significance goes without mention.  I mean, I'm here, right?  You're welcome, world.  (I just made myself vomit.)
  7. My brother.  Without him, A LOT more attention would have been paid to me. 
  8. Twitter.  This piece-of-shit platform introduced me to my boyfriend.  No, that's not normal.  But then again, neither am I.
  9. Vaccinations.  'Nuff said.
  10. Therapists.  I've had a life, people.
  11. Birthdays - because if they stop, I'm dead.
  12. Sobriety.  Saving lives, relationships and genitalia since forever.
  13. My extended family and the rich history that preceded them.  I'm related to some very questionable people, and I love them all.
  14. Little earthquakes.  They really shake things up.
  15. Friends that stick like glue, even after I disappear.  I have a tendency to fail at communication, and there's a few who remind me of this character defect frequently.
  16. LOVE.  Broad, vague, ambiguous love. 
  17. Vibrators.
  18. My furry baby, Charlie.  
  19. Alice in Wonderland, for stoking the embers of my imagination and creativity at such a young age.
  20. That I am lucky enough to work in an industry I love, pursuing my spirit's passion. 
  21. I'm a female living in a country that does not practice female circumcision.
  22. My childhood - it was "normal" (for whatever that's worth).  Subsequently, I have no real excuse for my reckless behavior in my youth.
  23. Accountability - Understanding what that really means has truly set me free.
  24. I'm not starving.
  25. I'm not homeless - although if I didn't have the supportive family I've been blessed with, I most certainly would have been homeless many times over.
  26. For all my relatives, particularly Uncle Gumby, who opened their home to me and let me crash on their couch so I could chase my dreams.
  27. Orthodontics.
  28. Health Insurance.
  29. A big shout out to the two Angels who reconnected me and my mother after she goddamn LOST me at Santa Anita Racetrack when I was two years old.  (She just kept trying to cut loose of the Ginger, but we ALWAYS come back.)
  30. Facebook - as much as I hate to admit it.  I'm shit at keeping in touch, and this thing has really pulled through.
  31. Rainbows - mainly for inspiring so many great YouTube videos and idiotic Tweets.
  32. Unicorns - for their majesty and healing powers.
  33. Grateful I learned to read good.
  34. Beyond grateful I have codependent enablers for parents, who never have and never will give up on me.  
  35. To have had the privilege of experiencing unconditional love, especially during times when I could not love myself.  
  36. And for good measure - humor, laughter, jokes and irreverence - without which, I may not have a shot at a career.
Oh, and just in case you weren't sold on #18 :