Drawing From "Experience"

"Write what you know."  A phrase commonly thrown around and all too often misunderstood.  Point in case:  I don't know shit, but I still write.  Here's how (as any of my close friends can attest to):  I draw heavily on the experience of others.

I mean, sure - I've seen my share of crazy, but it's so much more fun to embellish on and exploit another's (and somehow it feels less narcissistic).  Plus, I'm burning through material pretty quickly, so I'm forced to steal from others - which is actually the very essence of being a writer. 

Bottom line:  life is short, and one can only glean so many personal experiences, so it's important to pay attention to what's going on outside of yourself and learn from others in order to maximize your overall life experience.  

Point in case - I did not party my face off the night before I had to be at work for some big, important certification exam.  It was not I who couldn't complete the fifty foot jaunt from the sidewalk (where I was dropped off) to the entrance of the building, and I certainly did not pass out on the front lawn of my office for all my co-workers to see.  Also, I never would have had the audacity to act as a human speed bump for the poor gardener, who was forced to cut the grass out and around me.  

No, I am not the ballsy centerpiece of this tale - because I don't have balls.  It takes a special kind of idiot to pull off a stunt like this, and that idiot is a man.  Nay, a silly little boy.  And that boy just happens to be related to me, so in a sense, this is like my story by proxy.  But if this friend of mine had not told me about his regrettable little tale, I wouldn't have the teaser to a comedy project I wrote and recently shot (above).  

Oscar Wilde opined that Life imitates Art more than Art imitates Life.  If this is truly the case, maybe I should rethink the quality of my contribution.  Surely what the world needs is more drunken assholes.  Instead, I contend that [writing] what "I" know supports the latter theory that Art imitates Life, and as opposed to perpetuating a generation of idiots, I'm merely contributing to the record of our current state of affairs.  Either way, it's depressing as hell, but at least this way I don't have to assume responsibility.  I've never been very good at that, anyway.

P.S. Be careful what you tell me.