So as a show of gratitude on my birthday a few years back, I sent my mother a dozen roses with a card that read: Dear Mom, thanks for not flushing me. Love, Kris. Needless to say, she had a lot of explaining to do when the delivery guy dropped off the arrangement. I guess one could surmise I've been fucking with her since day one.
Anyway, here it is - a list of 35 things I'm grateful for (in VERY particular order):
- Being alive.
- That I managed to make it through my twenties without contracting any life-threatening diseases. (Seriously, you all read my blog. This is truly a feat within itself).
- To that end, I'm grateful for my health. And, might I add, that as a former smoker of thirteen years, my wrinkle situation could be so much worse than it is.
- So I guess I'm also grateful I have a mother who insists wrinkle creams make the greatest birthday and Christmas presents.
- And, while I'm at it, I'm pretty grateful for Botox, and the blissful ignorance that accompanies Science not having concluded any significant side-effects… yet.
- My parents - although they didn't make the Top 5, their significance goes without mention. I mean, I'm here, right? You're welcome, world. (I just made myself vomit.)
- My brother. Without him, A LOT more attention would have been paid to me.
- Twitter. This piece-of-shit platform introduced me to my boyfriend. No, that's not normal. But then again, neither am I.
- Vaccinations. 'Nuff said.
- Therapists. I've had a life, people.
- Birthdays - because if they stop, I'm dead.
- Sobriety. Saving lives, relationships and genitalia since forever.
- My extended family and the rich history that preceded them. I'm related to some very questionable people, and I love them all.
- Little earthquakes. They really shake things up.
- Friends that stick like glue, even after I disappear. I have a tendency to fail at communication, and there's a few who remind me of this character defect frequently.
- LOVE. Broad, vague, ambiguous love.
- Vibrators.
- My furry baby, Charlie.
- Alice in Wonderland, for stoking the embers of my imagination and creativity at such a young age.
- That I am lucky enough to work in an industry I love, pursuing my spirit's passion.
- I'm a female living in a country that does not practice female circumcision.
- My childhood - it was "normal" (for whatever that's worth). Subsequently, I have no real excuse for my reckless behavior in my youth.
- Accountability - Understanding what that really means has truly set me free.
- I'm not starving.
- I'm not homeless - although if I didn't have the supportive family I've been blessed with, I most certainly would have been homeless many times over.
- For all my relatives, particularly Uncle Gumby, who opened their home to me and let me crash on their couch so I could chase my dreams.
- Orthodontics.
- Health Insurance.
- A big shout out to the two Angels who reconnected me and my mother after she goddamn LOST me at Santa Anita Racetrack when I was two years old. (She just kept trying to cut loose of the Ginger, but we ALWAYS come back.)
- Facebook - as much as I hate to admit it. I'm shit at keeping in touch, and this thing has really pulled through.
- Rainbows - mainly for inspiring so many great YouTube videos and idiotic Tweets.
- Unicorns - for their majesty and healing powers.
- Grateful I learned to read good.
- Beyond grateful I have codependent enablers for parents, who never have and never will give up on me.
- To have had the privilege of experiencing unconditional love, especially during times when I could not love myself.
- And for good measure - humor, laughter, jokes and irreverence - without which, I may not have a shot at a career.
Oh, and just in case you weren't sold on #18 :
No comments:
Post a Comment